Navigating divorce is challenging and emotionally draining for any family. However, the impact that it can have on adult children can be especially challenging. As adult children navigate their own lives, careers, and relationships, the news and effects of their parents’ divorce can still have a profound effect.
Like minor children, adult children may express a range of emotions, such as shock, sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion when learning about their parent’s divorce. Certainly, each individual may experience different emotions, however it is important that divorcing parents validate and acknowledge these significant feelings that surface as a result of this major life event. It is also important to recognize that parental divorce can lead to changes in your relationship with your adult child. For instance, much like younger children, adult children may feel caught between parents or torn because of a sense of loyalty which can cause adult children to redefine their roles and establish boundaries. To alleviate the negative consequences, it is important for parents to communicate openly and transparently, respect newly erected boundaries and reassure their adult children that their love and support remain unchanged.
Divorce invariably alters the family dynamics which can be especially challenging during holidays and family gatherings. Like minor children, adult children may find themselves grappling with new realities, such as having to split time between parents, adjusting to blended families and carrying out family traditions that may suddenly seem meaningless. Some ways to ease the adjustment process are to maintain ongoing, open communication, offer flexibility, be open to making new traditions and find creative ways to make meaningful connections.
Many divorcing families find support by consulting with therapists. This is also true with adult children. Like younger children, adults may find themselves overwhelmed by their new reality and a therapist might very well provide the neutral space necessary to explore feelings, gain coping strategies and develop healthy ways of managing unfamiliar or stressful situations.
Understanding the unique challenges adult children face when their parents divorce is crucial and preparation can help avoid long term negative consequences. Acknowledging complicated emotions, respecting autonomy and boundaries, readily adapting to changing family dynamics, and encouraging professional support, are all ways to ease this often times unpleasant transition. Your family can actually thrive post-divorce.
At McGill Law, we are here to help you and your adult children plan for your lives during and after the divorce process. Give us a call in Omaha, Bellevue and Lincoln so we can further discuss your unique matter. We have your back!